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Funny Stories To Tell Friends

On this page you will find a collection of humorous texts and funny stories to tell friends.

One married couple came...

One married couple came to visit their friends at the other end of the country. Their friends took them to the races. Fascinated by overlooking the horses raced around the racecourse, the husband and wife were playing sweepstakes all the evening, while only two dollars have left in their pocket.

Next day the husband said that he would go to the races alone. In the first race he put two dollars on the outsider, and the horse came to the finish first. He put all his winnings on the next race and won again. That day, he was very lucky; his winning has reached fifty seven thousand dollars in the evening.

On the way home he saw a gambling house. The inner voice, the one that told him today, what kind of horse he needed to put his money on, said:

— Come in and play.

A man came inside and saw roulette before him. The voice said:

— Number thirteen.

A man put all fifty seven thousand dollars to the number thirteen. When the roulette stopped, the dealer announced:

– Number fourteen.

He returned home with empty pockets. His wife asked, meeting him near the door:

– How did you play?

Her husband shrugged the shoulders:

– I’ve lost two dollars, – he said.

Funny stories to tell friends...

A man walked into a small Irish pub and ordered three beers. Bartender was surprised, but he served that man three beers. One hour later the man ordered three beers again. The very next day that man ordered three beers again and drank quietly at a table. This repeated several times and shortly after the people of the town were whispering about the man, who was ordering three beers at once.

A couple of weeks later, the bartender decided to clear this out and inquired: „I do not want to pry, but could you explain, why do you order three beers all the time?” The man replied: „It seems strange, isn‘t it? You see, my two brothers live abroad at the moment, one – in France and another – in Italy. We have made an agreement, that every time we go to pub each of us will order extra two beers and it will help keeping up the family bond“.

Soon all the town have heard about the man‘s answer and liked it a lot. The man became a local celebrity. Residents of the town were telling this story to newcomers or tourists and even invited them to that pub to look at Three Beer Man.

However, one day the man came to pub and ordered only two beers, not three as usual. The bartender served him with bad feeling. All that evening the man ordered and drank only two beers. The very next day all the town was talking about these news, some people pray for the soul of one of the brothers, others quietly grieve.

When the man came to pub the next time and ordered two beers again, the bartender asked him: „I would like to offer condolences to you, due to the death of your dear brother”. The man considered this for a moment and then replied: „Oh, you are probably surprised that I order only two beers now? Well, my two brothers are alive and well. It‘s just because of my decision. I promised myself to give up drinking“.

 

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There was a man who lived...

funny stories to tell friends

There was a man, who lived in the mountain village, and he was known because he has never argued with anyone. One day some correspondent, who wished to write about this man in the Guinness book of records, came to him. They had the following conversation:

— Please tell me, is it true, that you have lived more than 90 years and never argued with anyone?

— Yes, it is true.

— Absolutely with no one?

— Absolutely with no one, at all!

— Even with your wife?

— Even with my wife.

— Even with your children?

— Even with my children.

— Not once for 90 years?

— Not once.

— Not once absolutely with no one? — becoming angry, the correspondent asked.

— Yes, —the old man said quietly.

The correspondent (blushing and becoming irritated):

— It can‘t be, that you had not argued with anyone for all your life!

— I had, had, had… — the old man said apologetically.

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